Dear PIP Facilitator,

Welcome to PIP—or welcome back! I’m so grateful you're here. Whether this is your first time facilitating or you’ve done it before, your commitment to supporting families truly matters.

Facilitating a PIP group is one of the most rewarding (always cute and sometimes challenging) experiences. I’ve been there—balancing the urge to offer advice with the critical importance of holding space. The most powerful thing we can do is simply offer our warm attention—listen deeply, remind parents they’re not alone, and help them trust their innate wisdom.

What makes PIP groups truly special is you. As a facilitator, you bring your own skills, care, and perspective. Your supportive and reliable presence makes the PIP experience a welcoming, uplifting, and genuine community.

This work centers on the unpredictable nature of early parenting, so there may be times when you feel unsure of yourself too. That’s okay! You’ve got a whole team behind you cheering you on, ready to offer support and guidance if you need it.

Thank you for bringing your energy, heart, and dedication to this work. Your leadership makes a lasting impact, right here in our shared home of Austin. We couldn’t do this without you.

Warmly,

Ali

Alison Tepper

Program Director

PIP’S MISSION, VISION, AND VALUES

Mission

Partners in Parenting brings all new parents together through facilitated meet-up groups, creating a space for community and connection—ensuring every family in Central Texas has the support they need during early parenthood.

(Full version)

Vision:

Vision

We envision a future where every new parent in Central Texas feels supported, connected, and confident in their parenting journey through community and shared experience.

Values:

INTEGRITY

We act with honesty, accountability, and consistency. We honor our commitments, communicate with transparency, and create an environment where families feel respected and valued. Integrity means showing up with authenticity, and ensuring that our actions align with our mission to support parents with care and compassion.

INCLUSIVITY

All types of families are given access to what they need to be supported. We recognize disparities within our community and work to address these barriers by continuing to advocate for the needs of the families we serve.

CONNECTION

We strive to create safe spaces to build community and connection for families during a vulnerable time period.

The PIP program is based on PEPS.

Since 1983, the Program for Early Parent Support (PEPS), a 501(C)(3) nonprofit organization has helped parents connect and grow as they begin their journey into parenthood. PEPS parent support programs educate, inform and create community.

PIP HELPS BUILD HEALTHY FAMILIES

PIP provides peer support programs for new parents based on the Strengthening FamiliesTM Framework. Our universal programs are open to all families, with a focus on increasing family wellness and building resilience by preparing parents to cope with life stresses before problems arise. Strengthening Families is a research-informed approach from the Center for the Study of Social Policy that works to:

• build on and increase family strengths,

• enhance child development, and

• reduce the likelihood of child abuse and neglect.

Parenting is challenging work, and we believe the well-being of a community is enhanced when all families have access to support. Additionally, we know that supporting parents is foundational to the healthy development of children and that family wellness is two-generational. This means that support must be given to children and parents. Many years of study confirm that outcomes of children are influenced largely by parents who are nurturing and responsive to their emotional and physical needs and that a child’s earliest experiences and environment is the foundation for future learning and school readiness.

The Strengthening Families Framework is based around the Five Protective Factors of family wellness, which PIPS works to enhance through:

1. Parental resilience Parenting a new baby is one of life’s biggest stresses. Parents need to learn to deal with stress and daily challenges and still maintain a safe and nurturing environment in their family. During PIPS discussions, parents learn skills from each other for:

• managing their day-to-day lives

• reducing stress

• taking care of themselves

• preparing for and managing crises.

2. Social connections Strong families have a

network of people who provide concrete assistance, emotional support, and nonjudgmental help and validation. The healthiest relationships are characterized by trust, reciprocity, flexibility, child friendly values, and a balance of independence and mutual assistance. We aim to:

• bring together communities of parents for mutual support and shared information

• support parents in discussing ways that they can preserve and strengthen relationships with their extended family and current circle of friends.

3. Knowledge of parenting and child development Parents who understand typical development patterns can better guide and discipline their child and promote healthy development.

PIP:

• integrates current research on child development and early learning into our programming and curriculum.

• offers content on theoretical concepts to increase parents’ understanding of child development and early learning and practical tools that can be applied in daily life. PEPS leaders use the PEPS Topic Guide to facilitate these discussions.

4. Concrete support in times of need a PEPS Group provides concrete support by bringing parents out of isolation during the early weeks and months of having a new baby. In addition, families benefit when they are made aware of community resources that enhance wellness and protective factors during their group meetings.

5. Social-emotional competence of children In healthy families, parents have a positive, nurturing relationship with their child that is based on behaviors that promote healthy, secure attachment.

For more information on Strengthening FamiliesTM, visit: www.strengtheningfamilies.net

PIP Program Offerings

• Newborn PIP groups:

For families with babies between 2 and 16 weeks old when the group starts. PIP groups can meet in homes or community spaces. Groups can have anywhere between 4-8 participating families. Groups meet for 8 weeks.

• Baby groups:

For families with babies between 5 and 12 months old when the group starts. Groups meet for 8 weeks at baby friendly community spaces.

• Spanish groups:

Newborn and Baby groups are offered in Spanish through WhatsApp and community spaces. These run for 8 weeks.

All parents are able to receive a H-E-B gift card when their group completes. PIP staff will email a digital gift card to parents (one per family).

EXPECTATIONS OF GROUP LEADERS

Remember: A PIP Group is not a parenting class. The Leader's role is to provide resources and encourage information sharing, not to instruct. We want to support parents in understanding that they are the best experts on their own children. All Group members (and the Leader) may share information from formal sources, tips and suggestions from experienced parents, and wisdom learned from their own successes and failures.

“ My experience was one that was so valuable that it motivated me to facilitate a group."

SUPPORT : Helping without taking over

A PIP leader can:

• validate and include.

• help participants feel heard and supported when sharing challenges.

• encourage parents to make their own decisions on issues.

• celebrate successes.

• provide resources.

PIP focuses on challenges and successes; the goal is increasing self-confidence and satisfaction.

EMPOWERMENT : Helping parents use their own strengths to meet their needs

New parents often feel overwhelmed, incompetent, and uncertain of what they need to feel successful. A PIP leader can help:

• problem-solve challenging situations.

• identify the parent’s needs.

• connect parents to information and resources related to needs.

• parents make informed decisions, based on their values and priorities.

FACILITATION OF SHARED INFORMATION : Helping parents connect to each other

PIP teaches parents that one of the best sources of information and ideas is other parents, both mentors (experienced parents), and peers (parents who are at the same point on the parenting journey). A leader can aid in information sharing by:

• soliciting ideas from Group members,

• validating the worth of those ideas, and

• referring back to the ideas as appropriate.

ORGANIZATION

• Attend group meetings consistently.

• Start and end group meetings promptly.

• Follow the PIP format: Sharing “highs and lows,” the Developmental Moment, and Topic Discussion. • Prepare discussion topics in advance.

• Organize and communicate with your group: scheduling details, announcements, plans for future topics, and meeting follow-up emails.

• Communicate with the PIP staff: Express any needs and share concerns.

• Track attendance and communicate with absentee parents.

FACILITATION

• Ensure that everyone gets a turn to share. Focus on group members and respond meaningfully. • Group management — maintain the group’s focus during topic discussion by noticing and ending side conversations; monitor members who give advice, interrupt, or dominate conversations.

• Use open-ended questions.

• Show warmth and empathy to group members.

• Model a non-judgmental attitude, which validates there is more than one way to parent. Our parenting journey develops over time and is influenced by our previous life experiences and our ongoing new experiences. • Listen rather than give advice.

• Respond appropriately to challenging moments.

• Encourage group members to use “I” statements and to share from their own experience. • Create a safe environment for participants to take risks, share vulnerability and ask questions. • Emphasize the similarities and differences among child rearing philosophies.

REMEMBER:

A Group Leader’s role is to facilitate the group members’ support and encouragement of each other. Be judicious about sharing wisdom from your own parenting experience. Do not use the group as your own support for current parenting challenges.

WHAT WE KNOW ABOUT NEW PARENTS

In today’s families many different people take on the role and responsibilities of parenting. We can not assume a family raising a child is a two-parent family with a mother and father. For example, a family may consist of two dads, two moms, or two dads and a surrogate. We have biological

parents,foster parents, step-parents, single parents, adoptive parents, grandparents, etc. Some people have parenting roles long

term and other may be short term. We want to use language that is as inclusive as possible; for example, a family is a circle of people who love and support you.

Every parent brings assets to the job of parenting

1. Parents have strengths. Everyone brings strengths, resources, and the ability to bounce back from adversity.

2. Parents have an experience of “family.” Whether their family experience was a positive one they want to replicate, or one they want to evolve away from, all parents have some experiences that guide them.

3. Parents are teachers. Not only are parents their baby’s first teacher, parents are each

other’s best teachers, and have a lot to offer one another. Parents teach one another through shared experiences, information, modeling, and observation.

4. Parents are motivated by love for their children. They work hard to respond to baby, and rise to the occasion to be the best parent possible.

The job of parenting can include challenging experiences.

1. Steep Learning Curve Parent development mirrors Both parents and baby are experiencing rapid change, record-pace learning, and adjustment. Parents’ first learning task is to learn how

to“nurture” their infant. Parents scramble to learn new skills, and just as they feel they have mastered something, babies’ needs and capabilities shift again. It is a 24/7 learning experience, with no user manual and intense fear of “doing it wrong.”

2. Feelings of vulnerability These challenges can leave parents feeling ill prepared, inadequate, or ignorant. Especially hard hit are those who previously functioned well in the adult world of linear thinking (planners, organizers, doers).

3. Chaos and Exhaustion With a new baby, all the normal routines are disrupted, and the old ways of managing tasks may no longer work. Sleep deprivation magnifies the challenges. Even simple tasks like eating and showering can seem hard to manage. Getting out the door to PIP group is a major accomplishment.

4. Loss We think mainly about the joys of having a baby, but parents also deal with the loss of freedom and spontaneity, loss of income and lifestyle, loss or change in relationships with friends and co workers, loss of free time.

5. Role transition and relationship changes As they lose their old identity, parents try to figure out “Who am I now?” Couples go through transition, grappling with “Who are we as a family?” All relationships shift and reorganize.

6. Isolation The early weeks may include more time alone at home than ever before. Friends and family may be far away, working, or otherwise unavailable. © Program for Early Parent SupportTM

09/12/2018 (PEPS changed to PIP with permission)

WHAT HAPPENS AT A PIP MEETING

PIP Group Meetings are structured to include four components. The table below shows the suggested order and timeframe for PIP Groups. Total Time: 1.5-2 hours

Timing is Flexible

Settling In

5-10 min

Sharing Highs and Lows

20-45 min

Developmental Moment

10-15 min

Topic Discussion

30-60 min

Sharing highs and lows (Approx. 30 min)

Why is it important? Every week there is a time for personal sharing from each group member. Sharing satisfies an important need for the parent because there are so many things happening to both parent and baby in the early months of the baby’s life. Having the uninterrupted attention of other parents as they share their experiences helps them to process those experiences, celebrate their successes, get support for their challenges, and reflect on the learning the week has brought.

What does it look like?

• To start, one person shares their highs and lows from the week: their best parenting moment or success, and their hardest parenting experience or challenge. Many parents tell us that throughout their week, when they have difficult moments, it adds humor to think “Now I’ve got a great low to share next week at PIP!”

• Go around the circle and give each person a turn to share. In a couples' group, each parent should share their highs & lows.

• Model active listening. When one parent is talking, others listen, and no one interrupts with their own story or with advice.

• A person can pass, but encourage some sort of participation.

• Monitor time so that everyone has a fair turn. If a group member speaks only briefly, ask questions to encourage them to share more. If a person is going on too long, gently encourage them to wrap up.

NOTE: Some PIP Groups go “deep” into sharing, with parents sharing very personal things, and emotions may run high. Other groups stay more on the surface, sticking to“safer” topics. The depth of sharing depends in part on you as the leader: the expectations you set in the beginning, how you respond, the questions you ask, etc. Be aware of the unspoken messages you send in how you respond to sharing.

Be sensitive to the mood of the Group — do you have the right balance where members feel comfortable sharing personal experiences, but it is not too intense for anyone? If not, what are some gentle ways you can guide it to the point where you think it would be most helpful?

Developmental Moment (Approx. 10 min)

Why is it important? Engagement between parents and their babies helps to foster healthy attachment, which leads to healthy brain development, which is the foundation for all future learning. One message we consistently hear from parents is that they want to learn about activities to do with their baby, both to increase their own bonding with their baby and to contribute to the baby’s development. It may be a frustration for parents that there are limited ways to engage when the infants can’t yet sit up and actively participate in play. For these reasons, at each PIP meeting we take time for a “Developmental Moment.”

What does it look like?

The Developmental Moment is a broad term used to define any activity that focuses on the babies’ development, rather than, in the rest of the meeting, focusing on parent/peer support. We suggest: Sharing songs or books you know from your own parenting. See the ideas in the Developmental Moment Guide included in your leader binder.

NOTE:

• Engaging in song or activity with the baby is fun for everyone, and shows that the babies are a valued part of the Group.

• Songs are effective in settling babies down when a cascade of crying occurs and it’s getting hard to hear. Try singing a quick Twinkle Twinkle to re-focus the Group and re-set the mood.

• The Developmental Moment may work best as a way to wrap up sharing and to transition into the break. Some groups do it after the break, as a way to get members re-gathered. Make time for at least one song, activity, or development nugget each week.

• The Developmental Moment is an "activity" in terms of engaging with parents, and may only be a short discussion. They are not always things to do with the babies in the meeting (who may be

experiences of other parents, and then draw their own

Topic Discussions (Approx. 60 min)

Why is it important? This segment allows parents to participate in a free-form, facilitated discussion on a specific subject. For some of your Group members, especially the very concrete thinkers, this may be the most helpful part of the meeting, as it allows them to focus on one thing, look at it from all angles, hear the

This is the general structure of your meeting. The amount of time will vary from group to group, and from meeting to meeting, depending on the size and needs of the group.The successful meeting happens when the leader combines creativity and an understanding of the group’s needs with a consistent format. However, it is important to make sure that each of these components is included, because each one suits the needs of different types of learners and participants.

What does it look like?

• To begin a topic discussion, lead with a short introduction to set the stage for discussion.

the meeting.)

• Summarize what has been said (attention spans may be short or parents may have missed bits as they tended to their babies). It may be helpful to

Active listening is listening with the purpose of clarifying thoughts and feelings to increase understanding of self, others, and circumstances.

• Follow with a good open-ended question that gets a conversation started.

• Let the conversation flow and evolve.

• Follow up with additional prompting questions that keep the conversation going when it flags — either questions from the topic guide or questions that occur to you as the discussion unfolds.

• If the Group starts to wander off topic, which is normal, wait for a good transition point to ask questions to pull the focus back to the topic. Alternatively, try to cycle back to the original topic before you wrap up, just to make sure that anyone interested in the subject has a chance to weigh in. • If side conversations occur, or a family is on mute

use the meeting planner notes in gathering your thoughts.

• Follow up with an email that recaps the resources discussed during the meeting and includes more resources from the Leader Tools section of the PEPS portal.

NOTE: We want to make sure that every group discusses certain basic topics. See p. 16 of this Manual. While the timing can vary depending on the needs of your group, all parents should get the set of required topics for their Program (Newborn, STA, CBP and Baby) sometime in the course of their session.

View the "Topic Discussion" training video on the PEPS portal (Leader Tools folder) to learn more.

Active listening may be a challenge in PIP Groups because there are many distractions (babies crying, diaper changing, feeding, etc.). The goal of the facilitator is to model active listening for group members — even during active/noisy periods of meetings.

When a PIP leader uses active listening, it helps Group members in these ways:

• Promotes understanding

• Relieves tension

• Reveals confusion and uncertainty

• Motivates decision-making and planning

• Clarifies thoughts and feelings

• Alleviates sense of isolation

sleep?”

• Clarifying & Summarizing: “What I think I’m hearing is ...” By summarizing what the speaker has said, it helps them to feel heard, it helps you, the facilitator, to make sure you’ve understood what’s been said, and it can help the other listeners to rejoin the thread if they’ve been distracted. Find a break in their narrative to summarize what they have said.

• Paraphrasing: Reflect back to the speaker what you hear — “It sounds like you are...”

• Practice neutral observation: Avoid the urge to control, suggest, correct, praise, or criticize. Simply report what you observe.

the whole time, try re-engaging those parents. • Encourage participation without forcing contributions. Unlike sharing time, you do not go around the circle, but rely on individual interest and spontaneous contributions. As the group continues

An active listener shows that they are listening by:

• Paying attention — looking at and turning toward the person talking.

Neutral

“You sound unsure about your decision.” “You seem to be having a rough time. “So, you’re trying to decide what to do.

Non-neutral

“Why would you do that?”

“Don’t worry - things will get better!” “Here’s what you should do.”

to meet, many leaders try and stay out of the discussions more, letting group members carry it. The focus is on the parents and their experiences (rather than the leader’s experiences) as they build trust and become more comfortable with each other.

• In general, it’s important that whatever approach you take be tailored to the needs of your group. As the weeks progress, you will get a better sense of the group’s interests and what works and doesn’t. As the group develops, “what works” can be a moving target, where flexibility is important.

• Wrapping up the discussion usually happens organically; either when you run out of time or people have nothing more to say. (If you have more time, it’s always great to give the parents the chance to talk about anything they like for the remainder of

• Staying quiet while the person talks. Keeping the focus on the person talking.

• Maintaining eye contact.

• Using engaged postures and gestures — leaning in, nodding.

Verbal techniques that are useful include:

• Acknowledging: Use phrases like “I see,” “uh-huh,” and “oh-really.”

• Encouraging: Ask questions to draw the speaker out or help them dig deeper.

• Reflecting: Repeat a fragment of speaker’s story. Speaker: “I can’t believe how often I forget things — it must be lack of sleep.” Listener: “What’s going on with

More tips for active listening:

• Let the person feel the conversation is theirs to take in whatever direction they want.

• Refrain from giving advice. Don’t let the speaker draw you into giving advice. Deflect any request for advice back to the speaker: “What advice were you hoping I’d give you?” Giving advice probably won’t help and more likely meets your own ego’s needs than the speaker’s needs.

• Keep the focus of the conversation on the speaker. Do not replace the speaker’s story with yours. While briefly referring to a similar situation you experienced might help the speaker feel less alone, don’t change the focus of the

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conversation from the speaker to you.

• Allow the speaker to experience the feelings they express. Do not try to talk the speaker into or out of feelings. Don’t discount the speaker’s experience by saying, “Don’t feel bad,” “It’s not that serious,” “Things will get better,” or “C’mon, give me a smile.” Those interventions are more to help you, the listener, feel better — not the speaker. • Support the speaker. However, try not to

need a little reassurance, and that's great. • Be aware of your facial expressions and body language. Non-verbal cues make up 80% of communication! Rolling your eyes, raising your eyebrows, crossing your arms, focusing on the babies rather than the speaker - these are all non verbal cues that can express volumes.

"I know my time is making a difference because I see it firsthand,

Culture

• is knowledge, beliefs, art, laws, morals, customs, and capabilities or habits acquired by one as a member of a certain group.

• is shared by all or almost all members of a group.

• is passed on from generation to generation.

• shapes our behavior and structures our perceptions.

sympathize. Sympathy tends to reinforce victimhood and inaction. Sometimes people may

and when I hear a group has continued past 8 weeks that's just icing on the cake."

Five Keys to Becoming a Good Cross cultural Listener: • Show that you value what the other person has to say by

• Listening before speaking, acknowledging what they share, and turning toward the speaker. • Be aware of your own biases.

• Be patient as you listen.

• Pay careful attention to the talker’s ideas and feelings.

• Feel comfortable in asking questions — interest is affirming, and curiosity allows you to gain understanding from a non-judgmental place.

Attitudes and hidden assumptions held by leaders and group members influence one’s comfort in a group and how group members listen and respond to one another.

As a leader, you must be aware of not only your own cultural assumptions, but also the cultural assumptions and biases of group members. When thinking about culture and diversity in the context of a PEPS Group, it is important to acknowledge “classic” cultural definitions (race, class, age, gender, ethnicity) as well as the family and geographical cultures you were born into or live in now. Even groups that look homogeneous are diverse. It is important to recognize the richness that diverse cultural backgrounds and experiences can bring to the group. It is easy to assume everyone thinks and believes similarly. The Group Leader's job is to create a safe space where different values and beliefs can be shared comfortably. Group members

can learn and grow through becoming aware of each other’s differences. As a leader, you play a vital role in acknowledging and honoring the group’s diversity. Encourage participants to ask questions for better understanding, before leaping to assumptions. Avoiding a topic because it might be uncomfortable is “taking care” of the group in an unhealthy way. It is okay to be uncomfortable. Cultural differences that impact the group and are not addressed encourage group members to second-guess others’ cultural experiences, and are a missed opportunity to share the richness that lies in the group’s diversity.

Anti-bias Education

We have an opportunity in PIP to encourage anti-bias education from birth.

Anti-bias education values and creates a community that supports and seeks to include all dimensions of human difference. Anti-bias education begins with noticing ourselves as distinct and different from others, developing self-concept and identity, learning about people who are different from us, and developing tools to identify and respond to bias. Family culture is the child’s first socializing context, giving a child a set of beliefs, values, language, and rules of behavior for interaction with the world. We have an important role in supporting our baby’s healthy development to grow up in an increasingly diverse world.

Anti-bias Education has four main goals. These goals are for both children and adults. We can integrate these goals into our PIP work and this manual will provide prompts when appropriate on how to integrate these

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goals into the topic discussions. Our overarching goal

diversity, use accurate language for human differences,

The following 'before' and 'after' activities should happen each week.

is to help our children see that in some ways we are the same and in some ways we are different, and that differences are normal.

Derman-Sparks, L., & Edwards, J. O. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves.

Washington, DC: NAEYC. (Excerpt: Chapter 1)

Anti-bias Education goals 1. Identity: Demonstrate self-awareness, confidence, family pride and positive social identities.

2. Diversity: Express comfort and joy with human

and create deep, caring human connections. 3. Justice: Recognize unfairness, have language to describe unfairness, and understand unfairness hurts. 4. Action: Demonstrate empowerment and the skills to act, with others or alone, against prejudice and discriminatory actions.

Before each meeting:

Using the meeting planners embedded in each Topic Guide, prepare for your meeting by:

• Preparing the Developmental Moment

• Preparing the topic discussion

• Reviewing the meeting planner from the week before to make notes on updates and announcements

After each meeting:

• Send a follow-up email to the group. In the email, remind the participants of the topic that was discussed. Share additional resources found on the PIP Google Drive. Include a reminder of the details and topic for the next meeting. Share the Topic for the next meeting.

• If someone was absent without RSVPing, check in to see if they are OK. This helps them know they’re missed and sets an expectation that they should let you know if they will be absent.

• If anyone drops out of the group, please email PIP staff as soon as possible.

First meeting:

Your main role at the first meeting is to set the tone - to create a warm, inviting, safe place for new parents to connect and create relationships with their peers. You can find an outline of the first meeting in the Topic Guides. The structure of this meeting is different from all other weeks. This week, you will:

• Facilitate introductions (use nametags). • Provide an orientation to PIP by reading the "Intro to PIP" handout as a group.

• Give each group member an opportunity to share their baby's arrival story.

• Distribute the hosting schedule and ask parents to sign up to host. See the "First Meeting" Topic Guide for more information on hosting meetings.

Second and third meeting:

The second meeting is when you will begin the regular format, which includes the four components of a PIP meeting. In addition to the regular agenda, you’ll do a few special activities:

• In week 3/4, plan discussion topics for remaining weeks. Try to line up a speaker or two.

Fourth meeting onward:

In week 4/5 of Newborn/STA Groups, plan discussion topics for remaining weeks. Try to line up a speaker or two for weeks 6 – 10 (guest speaker guide can be found on the PIP Group Leader Drive).

Be sure to include Development and Early Learning and Emotional Changes and Challenges at the same point. Six, seventh & eighth meetings: Start to fade your leadership of the group. Help the parents begin to take on ownership of their group as you move toward the end of your time together. • Encourage group members to choose songs for, or

lead activities during the developmental moments. • Speak less during discussions, letting parents lead the discussion more.

• Suggest and encourage Parents Nights Out for the group. For evening groups, there is a Topic Guide by that name.

• Encourage the parents to create an email or social media group, and to initiate contact outside of the meetings.

• Break the group up into smaller conversation groups for a change of pace, and then bring the groups together to summarize (in couples' groups, splitting them up by gender or splitting the couples into two or more mixed– gender groups can be useful).

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Final meeting:

• Encourage group members to consider leading a Group - use the Recruiting New Group Leaders notes on p. 20 to help with this discussion. Privately encourage at least one person who you think would be a good PIP leader to volunteer someday.

• You can use the "Last Meeting" guide in your curriculum and weave in a requested topic if parents would like.

survey. Feedback is very helpful for us; encourage everyone to complete the survey ASAP.

After the last meeting:

• Submit your leader survey (link in checklist). • Submit your invoice for your payment.

PIP has established the following four guidelines for our meetings. These guidelines allow participants and leaders to benefit from a supportive and safe group experience. These guidelines are also listed on the introductory handout that you’ll review with your group at the First Meeting.

Mutual Respect Shown for All There is no “right” way to parent or participate in a group. Others in the group may have very different parenting/ participation styles, and that is great! We need to come to each group experience with respect for all present. We also need to trust that everyone is doing the best job they can. New parents may be operating on little sleep and new group members may be nervous. Both factors may contribute to situations where a member of the group says something judging or inappropriate. As leaders, our own ability to be patient and kind and to suspend judgment will help other group members do the same.

You Have the Right to Pass

While we would love to hear from everyone, we need to respect someone’s right to pass. Some individuals are uncomfortable speaking in front of a group, whether in general or about a sensitive topic. That doesn’t mean they aren’t getting value out of the discussion and experience. We all learn and feel supported in different ways. Our ability to model acceptance when someone doesn’t want to share will help the group do so. You can break the parents up for some discussions to see if consistently non-sharing members are more comfortable sharing in a smaller group. Splitting couples into mixed-gender groups or grouping parents by gender can make discussions easier.

Confidentiality

In order for group members to feel safe enough to share personal thoughts and feelings with a group, the group needs to agree that what is said in the group stays in the group. It’s normal to want to talk to your partner or friends about topics and issues that come

up at meetings. However, members must be sure not to include names or any identifying information when discussing their PIP Group.

No Side Conversations

While some side talk may occur when a parent is attending to a child, persistent side talking among adults can be disruptive to group discussions and can feel disrespectful to the person speaking. It is important for facilitators to step in and end side conversations. A few options for dealing with side talk include asking the speaker to pause for a second and saying, “Can everyone hear what Mary is saying?” or, “I am having trouble hearing what Bruce is saying.” If the group is pretty comfortable with each other, you can be direct and ask those talking to stop. “Hey guys, could I get you back into the conversation, I want to make sure everyone has a chance to be heard.” Side talking includes consulting electronic devices during a discussion. Ask group members to put their phones on vibrate and not to use them during meetings unless there’s an emergency. Lastly, pay attention to the group. Are they bored with the topic or ready to switch gears? Maybe that is why people have started to talk among themselves.

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It is the leader’s responsibility to communicate these guidelines to the group. Even if you’ve reviewed the information at the first meeting, reminders are helpful.

The PIP Speakers List is available to all Newborn and Alumni PIP Groups.

Allergies

If meeting in-person, ask the group at the first meeting if anyone has allergies. Group members who provide snacks should indicate if any food brought to a meeting contains (or was prepared in close proximity to) ingredients that members are allergic to. If members have extreme allergy or food issues, they may want to bring their own snacks.

Contagious Diseases

Group members should not attend if any of the following symptoms are observed:

• Vomiting: Projectile vomiting two or more times within 24 hours

• Body rash: Especially with a fever or itching • Diarrhea: Three or more watery stools within 24 hours

• Eye infection: Thick mucus or pus draining from the

eyes

• Sore throat: Accompanied by a fever or swollen glands

• Fever: Of l00 degrees or more within the last 24 hours

• Coughing: If accompanied by a fever

• If group members have questions about attending, their health care providers are the best advisors. Sales

No sales of any goods or services can take place during groups.

Visitors

Due to confidentiality, and due to the intimate level of sharing between Group members, visitors are generally not allowed to attend group meetings.

Absences and Cancellations

If you, the leader, have a planned absence, please attempt to find a sub or speaker if your group would like one, or provide the group with some talking points if they are comfortable meeting without you. It’s great if you can then add one more facilitated meeting to the schedule. If you have a last-minute absence, contact the group and let them know, but urge them to meet without you, especially if you are several weeks into the session and they’ve bonded. They are usually happy to handle the highs and lows themselves and then have a social time. Weather-related cancellations: The group members are in the best position to know current conditions in their area and if they should be out on the roads. The PIP staff cannot make that call. Please poll the group and make a majority decision.

Speakers are a value-added component of the group experience, intended to share deeper information on a topic of interest. Since the main goal of the group is for the members to establish a shared-support experience, PIP recommends using a maximum of two speakers during the course of your group. Please don’t create the expectation that your group will have a speaker until you have booked one! We update the speaker list frequently. You can find the latest version in your checklist. Please follow the guidelines when using speakers and keep in mind that they are busy professionals who are volunteering and have families of their own.

Guidelines

• Please give a minimum of two weeks’ notice when scheduling speakers.

PIPS has guidelines by which speakers must abide.

• Speakers may leave topic information, biographical information, or business cards at PEPS meetings. • PEPS speakers have agreed not to collect contact information from group members.

• PEPS Speakers agree not to promote, sell products, or charge for services.

• If a speaker asks for compensation for their presentation or materials, please let them know it’s not in our agreement and contact the PIPS office. Speakers may talk about their services/products if asked by group members, or in the context of introducing their area of expertise or background. If a speaker is aggressively marketing, please inform

the Program Manager so that we can address this issue.

Process for planning guest speakers: 1. On the speaker list, look in the columns “area availability” and “time availability.” If the speaker does not travel to your area, or is not available at your meeting time, cross them off your list. Our speakers donate their time and travel, so please honor their limitations.

2. Look through the remaining speakers, and pick several that you think would be of interest to your group.

3. When contacting speakers, try to give at least two weeks’ notice, and try to give them several options for dates. The more flexible you are, the more likely they will be available to come to your group.

4. If multiple speakers are available at the same time, check with your group to let them know and to get their input. Once you’ve decided, make sure the speaker has the meeting schedule, meeting address and your and the host’s contact information.

5. Please indicate in your weekly report if you have used a speaker, who it was, and any feedback you can share. If you use a speaker who is not on the list but is interested being added, direct them to the

20 © Partners in Parenting 2022 21 © Partners in Parenting 2022

RECRUITING NEW GROUP LEADERS 23 © Partners in Parenting 2020 RECRUITING NEW GROUP LEADERS

You may know from personal experience how satisfying leading a group can be,

and how very important PEPS’ work is in our community. You, an active group leader, are also our most valuable resource for identifying and encouraging new

"Perhaps even more exciting was the shared experience of listening to everyone else, and realizing how alike our babies stages were

How you can help

As your group winds down, take time to invite members to think about leading a group of their own someday. Most group leaders have been PIP participants, and your encouragement now is one of our most valuable tools for maintaining our model.

Why ask now?

Leaders sometimes feel reluctant to ask group members to think about volunteering during what’s often a vulnerable and overwhelming time. But as families emerge from the “newborn haze,” parents often look for ways to reach out in their community and help others adjust to parenting. We see many volunteers with young babies who want to help out. Ask for later

Don’t expect people to say “yes” right away. Your intention is to model by example, and to put the invitation out there in a welcoming and informative way. “Volunteers are so critical to PIP that I want to put out the invitation now in the hopes that one day the time will be right for you.”

Phrasing the invitation

share why you volunteer:

“I’ve really enjoyed leading this group. One reason I chose to lead is that my own PIP Group meant so much to me and I wanted to return that gift to other families. Volunteers lead almost all PIP Groups so PIP always asks us to invite you to think about leading a group someday"

Set realistic expectations:

“The most important qualifications are your enthusiasm and your experience as a parent. PIP will provide the training and resources to make it easy.”

Inform about the flexible model:

PIP welcomes couples, co-leaders, and solo volunteers of any gender for both the Newborn and Baby programs.

Other volunteer opportunities PIP is also always on the lookout for new Board and Committee members, trainers, event staff, and office help. There are many great ways to stay involved with PIP and give back!

Information online at pipaustin.org.

"I learned so much about myself, my abilities, and my baby, and made life long friends. PIP is amazing! Keep up the good work!"

while still being completely different. At the end of our session we were asked to considerleading a group, and I wanted to. I wanted to stay in that community and try and help other families find those connections."

22 © Partners in Parenting 2022 23 © Partners in Parenting 2022

GROWING A PIP GROUP:

PREPARING FOR YOUR PIP GROUP 25 © Partners in Parenting 2020 STAGES OF GROUP DEVELOPMENT

Prior to the first meeting 1. Group rosters are finalized

Did you know that most PIP Groups follow a common cycle? Below we list the likely stages of your group, and what you can do to assist your group during each stage.

Group rosters are finalized in advance of the group’s start date. PIP staff will introduce you to your group members.

2. Contact the members of your group by phoning or through email.

• Introduce yourself and welcome the parents to the Group.

• Remind the parents of the start date and meeting time, and provide location of and directions to the meeting.

• Share a little about what to expect, and reassure that the meetings are very casual. • If facilitating an in-person group, ask if there are any major allergies. • Ask if there is anything they would like to share about their family. Parents may share that they have twins, an adopted child, etc.

• Mention the topic for the first meeting is Baby Arrival Stories.

• Ask if they have any questions.

The big picture

Your role as a PIP leader is to help your group move from dependence on you to dependence on each other. Our hope is that as the group develops, group members shift from looking to you for support to looking to each other.

First weeks

Walking into a new environment and group of people can bring a few common emotions - excitement, fear, and vulnerability. When you signed up to lead you might have wondered what would be expected of you, if you would know anyone at the training, or worried that your group would not go well. These are often the same feelings going through the minds of your PIP Group members when they walk in to their first meeting! Common Characteristics of Groups in the First Weeks:

• Members look to the group leader for guidance and direction.

• Members have a desire for acceptance by the group.

• Members want to know that the group setting is a safe place.

• Members scan the group to see who is the same/ different in an attempt to find their place.

• Members want to get to know each other and settle into their role in the group.

• Members often avoid serious topics and deep feelings.

Tips for the first weeks

1. Set Expectations. Everyone comes to a PIP Group with different expectations about your role as leader and their role as a group member. Some participants may have heard a lot about PIP Groups, others may have little idea of what happens at

a meeting. Some members may know you are a volunteer and some may not. Ask your group members what they are hoping to gain being in a PIPS Group. It is a great way to get all the questions they’ve come with out in the open. The purpose of PIPS is to connect parents for mutual support and shared information. The goal is to support participants through their transition to parenthood. You are there to facilitate a conversation so the parents can support one another. Review the ground rules and group expectations so everyone is on the same page.

2. Provide Consistency and Structure. In the first few group meetings, most parents appreciate leaders who provide a structured and consistent format, who handle most decision-making, and who lead by example by sharing stories, tips, ideas, and experiences. As time goes by and the parents know each other better, participants take on more responsibility, make group decisions, and talk and share more.

3. Acknowledge Differences while Highlighting Unity. We know it is common to look around and see what is the same and different between group members. We know it is common to look around and see what is the same and different between group members. Throughout the weekly discussions, parents will continue to pay close attention to commonalities and differences. It is difficult not to compare during this major life transition. From the start, acknowledge that each person is coming to the group with different life experiences, values, family structures, parenting styles, and cultural backgrounds and these differences influence how one parents. Group members can help each other feel included and supported by acknowledging the commonalities and differences. A useful dialog with

24 © Partners in Parenting 2022 25 © Partners in Parenting 2022

GROWING A PIP GROUP: STAGES OF GROUP DEVELOPMENT

STAGES OF GROUP DEVELOPMENT

the group might sound something like: "PIP Groups focus on the commonalities of parenting - the issues and experiences that each of you are likely facing. Your group was created by assembling families from general geographic areas and according to babies’ due dates, not in a way that people typically connect. People typically connect through shared interests and common backgrounds. One huge step in getting to know one another will be to acknowledge your differences as well. It’s very easy to think that you are the only parent that’s different from the rest of the group. Here are some ways group members have noted they feel different: • I am a parent of color.

• I am a single parent.

• I am an LGBTQ parent.

• I am much younger/older than the other parents. • I am the only one going back to work/not going back.

• I am the only one breast feeding/not breastfeeding. • I have a fussy/ “crier” baby and the others seem perfect.

• I have an apartment and everyone else has a house.

• I have a different parenting style than I think the other parents have.

• I have twins/a preemie/ an adopted baby • I had an easy birth and I think everyone hates me. • My baby sleeps/eats well and I think everyone hates me.

Are any of you on this list, or can you add to this list? It can be hard to think that you don’t fit well in this group. What we haven’t yet figured out as a group, but will over the course of the next several weeks, are all the ways we are connected, and do fit, with each other. What will be important is that, firstly, you hang in there and attend the meetings, and secondly, that you trust that you can talk about your experiences

as a new parent without assuming that anyone is being judgmental. This group is your group, and we are here to be supportive in whatever ways we can.” Let your group know that, over the course of the session, you will discuss a variety of topics. Each group member brings their own life experience and skill set, as well as their own opinions on parenting. We are all quick to pay attention to differences, but by keeping in mind what unifies the group, they can support each other more fully.

Middle weeks

Often the middle weeks are filled with a deeper level of sharing. As parents become more comfortable with each other, trust continues to build and parents feel a greater level of safety with one another. Group members may begin to spend time with each other outside of meetings. Parents Nights Out may take place during these weeks.

Common Characteristics of Groups in the Middle Weeks:

• Trust is still fragile. Members may be quick to judge or unwilling to accept differing views as they find their place in the group.

• As trust develops, members are often more willing to hear and be open to different ideas and opinions. • Groups become more cohesive and members experience a sense of belonging.

Tips for the middle weeks

1. Share Power. Encourage the group to take more ownership by taking on group jobs - sending a welcoming email when it’s their turn to host, choosing the song or developmental activity, planning a social event, organizing a book and gear swap, etc. The more responsibility group members have, the more ownership and commitment they will have to the group.

2. Remind Group of Ground Rules. Stronger opinions may emerge as members become more comfortable speaking their mind. Side talk may

increase as relationships become stronger. This is a great time to remind the group of PIP's ground rules!

3. Take a Temperature Check. At the midway point, you’ll administer evaluations and get feedback from the group. Take this opportunity to check in with your group and discuss tweaks going forward. Checking in at this time allows you and the group to make adjustments for the remaining weeks.

Last weeks

The last weeks can be both rewarding and

challenging! You have watched your group grow into an entity that can exist without you. The group may seem to have taken on a life of its own as members feel connected and supported. This can be a challenging time for leaders as you often see side talk, less commitment to the meeting format, and frequent drifting from the planned topic. Listen to what the group needs and wants and see how you can adapt. If the whole group is finished with the planned topic and wants to move on, it is our job as leaders to be flexible. If there are varying opinions, make sure everyone gets a turn to share on the topic before moving on. Trust your gut, and trust the group. Common Characteristics of Groups in the Last Weeks:

• True “Team Spirit”

• Respectful problem solving

• Ability to hear and support different opinions • Small cliques may form

• Little dependence on leader

• Less interest in formal topics

• A desire for more free-flowing, organic conversations Tips for the Last Weeks

1. Stick to the Ground Rules. During the final weeks, it is important to be flexible and let the group have more control in the direction of the meeting. However, it is important to uphold the PIPS ground rules. There are rules so meetings stay respectful and judgment free.

2. Acknowledge Mixed Feelings: Yours and Theirs. As the official PEPS session ends, it is normal for you and the group to have mixed feelings. It may be both exciting to see the group take off on its own and sad to let go. Allow yourself to experience these feelings. It may be hard to feel like your group doesn’t need you as much, but this means you have helped them build the connections needed to continue supporting each other into the future.

3. Group members may also have mixed feelings. They may wonder if they’ll keep going without you and they may feel excited to create their own structure and style. Take some time at your next-to-last meeting to talk about how your formal group will end and how the group may continue.

4. All groups evolve differently. Some groups continue to meet for years.. and some never meet again after the session ends. This is not about your success or failure as a leader, but about the unique group and its members. Leaders who have led multiple groups can tell you that sometimes groups gel and keep going and sometimes they don’t, regardless of what they did or didn’t do as a facilitator!

5. Celebrate. Congratulate yourself on the dedication and commitment you made to support parents! You have given these parents an incredible gift. You may have stepped out of your comfort zone to lead a group, you have given time and energy to PIP, and you deserve to celebrate!

FACILITATION TIPS

Leading a PIP Group is an extremely rewarding experience. You are giving an amazing gift by actively supporting parents, and for the most part, the gratitude group members express will fill your heart. However, even in the most cohesive of groups, challenging situations and moments can occur. Whether it is a difference of parenting opinion or a difference in participant backgrounds, knowing how to handle these moments can ease the situation for you and the group members.

Why challenging moments may occur:

Stage of Life

PIP Groups are filled with people who have just gone through a major life transition. New parents, often running on little sleep, are facing many new challenges and difficult decisions. This adjustment to parenthood can make even calmest of people feel unsettled at one time or another during their PIP meetings and discussions.

Unique Individuals

Each group is made up of individuals who bring their own childhood experience, culture, family structure, and way of life to the mix. At times, navigating the varied life experiences of new parents can feel challenging and some conversations may be uncomfortable. While we often want to avoid these awkward moments, they can be opportunities to bond and develop group cohesion.

Different Needs and Expectations

Parents sign up for PIPS Groups for a variety of reasons. Some are looking to make new friends, some are hoping to get parenting advice, some were signed up by partners, and some signed up because a friend told them they should. This variety of reasons to join a PIPS Group can lead to members having different expectations from one another about PIP. During challenging moments, remind yourself and the group members that you are a volunteer, there to facilitate

and support them through the situation. Remind the group that this is their group - the more they lean into their peers, they more they will get out of the group.

Tips for navigating differences.

1. Be Aware of Bias. Bias refers to attitudes and assumptions, both overt and hidden, which affect the way we view and interact with others. All group leaders and members enter a new group with bias based on life experiences. Being aware of bias enables leaders and group members to be sensitive to others and to interact without assumption or judgment. Some examples of bias include assuming that moms in a daytime group don't work outside the home or do have a partner working outside the home. This assumption may lead a single mom, or a working mom with a flexible schedule to feel judged or left out. Another example is that we may assume everyone can afford popular baby gear. This can lead to a parent feeling left out, or inferior. Sometimes we make assumptions based on life partnerships. An example of this would be assuming that a same sex couple does not want both parents to participate in Parents' Nights Out, or that a single parent can't participate in a Parents' Night Out. As a leader, be aware of your own bias, as well as bias you notice in group members. You can address bias by encouraging group members to ask questions, keeping an open mind, and letting group members speak for themselves. Please view the "Cultural Dynamics and Diversity" training video on the PIP portal (Leader Tools/Leader Resources) During challenging moments, remind yourself and the group members that you are a volunteer, there to facilitate and support them through the situation. Remind the group that this is their group - the more they lean into their peers, they more they will get out of the group.

2. Don’t Ignore It, Address It. Often, awkward situations are dealt with by ignoring them. Avoiding situations can actually make it more uncomfortable for the group. When a tense moment occurs, it is our job as leaders to address the issue! Simply saying, “I can see there’s some tension around this issue” or “This issue often brings up very strong feelings and conflicts can occur” can reduce the discomfort in the room.

3. Ask For Help. If you are ever unsure of how to navigate challenging moments, talk to the staff at PIP! Their job is to help you feel supported in leading the group. PIPS hosts a leader Facebook group where you can ask for tips and advice from other experienced group leaders. We all need help at times, so take advantage of the support available to you as a leader.

Tips for navigating common challenges.

Awkward Silence

It can be difficult when you ask a question and no one responds. Silence is not necessarily a sign that your question has bombed — it can be a sign of deeper processing. Group members may need some extra time to think about their answers.

Tips to help you through those quiet moments:

• Give it time. Try counting to 20 before jumping in. Often someone will contribute and the response will be worth the wait. You can look at your notes or pretend to write something to occupy yourself.

• Call out the silence. You might say, “Wow, it got really quiet in here.” or “This is a toughie, huh?” Then count to 10 before jumping in.

• This can be a good time to share from your experience. Share about a personal situation

related to the topic and what you learned from it. Then ask if anyone has had a similar experience. Conflict

Parenting comes with as many different opinions as there are parents. We each have different childhood experiences, different values, and parenting styles.

This means that there may be times when group members have strong differences of opinions during discussions.

Tips for navigating conflict and tense discussions: • Take a deep breath and try to stay relaxed. • Don’t take sides. While you may agree with one person, stay neutral.

• Remind the group that we are all doing the best we can. Some topics are more sensitive for some people than others.

• Acknowledge the conflict. Rather than using avoidance, which makes the situation more uncomfortable, you can say, “I can see there’s tension around this issue.”

• Help the group separate the “problem” from the person by reminding them that many parenting topics elicit strong opinions. However, these feelings are about the topic, not about each other as individuals.

• Remind the group to share from experience. Help them focus on what worked for them, instead of the “right” way to do something.

Different Child Rearing Philosophies

A group member may make a statement that’s contrary to your own values or the values of another group member, but not dangerous.

Tips for addressing varying child rearing philosophies: • Respond in a non-judgmental way. This is difficult to do when you feel strongly, but you want to keep communication open.

• Ask for more information.

FACILITATION TIPS

• Open the subject up to the group for ideas. After all, the goal is to have the group members support one another.

• Praise the group when they present divergent examples of parenting styles — it makes for more interesting discussions.

Feeding

Our local culture places a great deal of value on breastfeeding. Sometimes whether or not someone can breastfeed is not a choice. While supporting breastfeeding is important, supporting parents who choose not to breastfeed or cannot successfully breastfeed is just as important. Parents can feel ashamed or judged if they do not or cannot breastfeed. The decision whether or not to breastfeed is a deeply personal one, with many factors involved. Tips for supporting feeding choices and

methods:

• Using the phrase "fed is best" can be helpful. • Remind the group that each parent is the very best person to make decisions on what is best for their family.

• Acknowledge that breastfeeding does not work for everyone. Some people are not able to or choose not to breastfeed.

• Help the group by using the term feeding, which can refer to both methods.

• Make sure those who are breastfeeding know its fine to nurse with or without “hooter hiders.” Sometimes if one person uses them, it sets a ‘norm,’ and we want to make sure to reassure everyone that they can nurse however they are most comfortable.

Family composition

Families with new babies experience the same challenges regardless of their gender presentation, sexual orientation, or family structure. In addition to experiences presented by the transition to parenting, some parents are navigating a world that revolves

around stereotypical gender roles and traditional family structures — this can be challenging. Tips to help you support all parents in your group: • Be aware of biases associated with gender roles.

Avoid, and help the group avoid, assuming that any couple divides duties along traditional gender roles. • Be aware that not all parents are together or in 2-person couples. Parents may be single attending solo, in polyamorous relationships, or other parenting partnerships.

• Be aware of language. When in doubt, ask the family what would work for them, and how they want to identify. Some examples include shifting to using the term “partner,” “parents,” or “birth” and “non-birth-parent” instead of husbands and wives or moms and dads.

• When dividing into smaller groups for discussions, try dividing by “primary care giver.” This gives people the opportunity to decide for themselves where they are comfortable.

• Parents' Nights Out. Many leaders wonder how to handle these nights with same-sex couples. Sometimes couples may want to divide among primary care giver/ parent working outside the home, and sometimes both parents may feel comfortable going with their gender group (and if they are comfortable, they can leave baby with the parents that are having a regular meeting that night, or plan a baby-friendly venue). Bottom line - leave the choice to the couple, but consult with them before you discuss the planning with the larger group so they aren’t put on the spot. See instructions in the Topics, p. 161.

Leader Absence

Group leaders might miss a meeting or two over the course of the session, whether for a planned or unplanned situation. How to handle an absence depends on the amount of lead-time you have and the stage of your group.

Tips for handling leader absences:

1. If your group has met for several weeks and has gelled, and you feel confident that they can handle the Highs and Lows and a discussion, keep the meeting as scheduled. You can provide the group with the introduction language to a topic and several prompts, and suggest they have a discussion (choosing a “lightweight” topic may make things easier on the group). If it’s a planned absence and you have had time to line up a guest speaker in place of a Topic Discussion, all the better. The parents will benefit from sticking to the schedule and connecting with each other socially, even in your absence.

2. If you need to miss a meeting with very short or no notice (less than a day), and the absence is not weatherrelated, it’s best to keep the meeting as scheduled. With last minute notice, it’s likely the hosts are ready to have the group over and it can be difficult to reach everyone at a moment’s notice to cancel. The exception to this would be if it’s your first or second week and the group has been on the quiet side thus far, or if you know several other members will also be missing the meeting, in which case cancelling may be the better choice.

3. However you handle missing a meeting, it’s always nice to offer to extend the schedule by an extra week to make up for that session - the goal is to offer the number of facilitated meetings parents

are expecting (10 for Newborn Groups, 8 for site based), however that can best be achieved. Leader/Co-leader is Insecure about Abilities as Facilitator

It’s common to worry that you may not be meeting the needs of all parents in your group, all the time. Each group leader comes to the role with a unique set of skills. Your interest in helping new parents connect is the main qualification for the role. It may be helpful to connect with other leaders via the PIP WhatsApp Group. The volunteer manager is always available for

one-to-one coaching.

Non-Primary Caregivers

Both parents are equal players in parenting, but may not have the same status when it comes to caring for baby. Non-primary caregivers may feel they are not “doing it right.” This can be code for not doing it how the primary caregiver does it. Continually sending the message that one parent can’t do it “right” may push the parent away from wanting to try.

Tips for supporting non-primary caregivers in meetings: • Make sure they have a voice. Don’t let partners speak for them! One way to do this is to have birth parents go around the circle and share first, and then repeat with partners. Notice how challenging it can be for parents to listen quietly and not add on or correct their partners. Ask for more information. • Avoid making assumptions around gender roles. Many dads are now the primary care givers, and both parents are involved in conscious parenting at a much greater level than ever before.

• Shift the discussion if venting turns to more generalized partner-bashing. While everyone needs a chance to vent, helping couples focus on what they appreciate about each other and how to express needs respectfully will be more helpful.

Not Being Able to Resolve Challenges Sometimes participants have persistent issues that are not “solvable,” and this can be hard

on the leader and the group.

Tips for handling unresolvable problems:

• Accept that worrisome situations may arise that are not resolved within the context of the group. • Acknowledge your own feelings of frustration and helplessness and then try letting go of them. It may not be possible to ‘solve’ all issues in the context of the PIP experience, nor is it the leader’s role to solve problems for parents or to “save” a parent. • Remind the group that other supports exist. The parent experiencing the persistent challenge may

FACILITATION TIPS

worry about burdening the group. PPHA offers additional support.

• What is of value is the normalizing and support that comes with a peer experience.

One Person Dominates

Sometimes, one person can dominate conversation. This can lead other group members to feel frustrated, or they may give up trying to share.

Tips for helping all group members share:

• After the dominating person says something, say "Thank you, great point!” Then ask, “What do some of the rest of you think?" Alternatively, you can use a person's name to shift attention to someone else. For example, "Roxanne, what do you do to make yourself feel better on a stressful day?" It will shift the focus of attention and convey that the group needs to hear from more people.

• It may be helpful or necessary to connect one-on one with the dominate speaker. Thank them for sharing with the group, and explain that we have a goal of giving everyone an equal chance to share and connect.

• Split the group into smaller discussion groups to give quieter folks a better chance to contribute. Serious Family Problems

Even if a PIPS participant seems to be having a serious issue (a postpartum mood disorder, domestic or financial problems), your role is not to detect or assess dysfunction within a family. It is always OK to connect one-on-one with a parent you’re worried about with an offer of sympathetic support, but do not take on the problem yourself.

Tips for handling serious family problems:

• If the participant has expressed a concern, or described a worrisome situation with the group, let the participant share, and use active listening techniques to acknowledge what you’re hearing.

• If the concern arises outside the group setting - a participant expresses distress to you, or you are

• While PIP does not provide clinical or social services and the staff do not have the expertise to assess situations directly with group leaders or participants, we can aid you and/or your group in accessing appropriate resources. Contact the volunteer manager. We will supply you with situation-specific resources and may ask that you support the participant or family by dispersing information to the entire group, so that no single person is singled out. It is not appropriate for leaders to intervene in worrisome situations, other than to provide parents with information and resources.

Side-talking

This happens when two people, usually sitting next to each other, talk to each other while other people are speaking to the group. It is bound to happen as people start to make friends in the group, or as couples interact, but side talking can become the norm unless managed effectively.

Tips to address side talking:

Try to discourage side talking because it is disruptive to the group and may discourage the speaker from continuing. This is an area in which participants consistently look to the leader for help. If you have the floor, don't continue with what you're doing until side conversations stop. If someone else is talking, break in, saying, "I'm sorry, but I can't hear Allison talk." Your group may be very social and could use a longer snack break for socializing.

Single Parents

It's common for single parents to attend evening and/ or daytime groups. A single parent may feel like an outsider, and should be supported and validated for their experience. Some single parents have chosen to single parent, others have not chosen to be a single parent.

Tips for including single parents in group

discussions:

• Allow the parent to share issues that come up for them around being a single parent.

• While their experience is different, the single parent is still a new parent. We can help them feel included and supported by listening and finding similarities.

• When Parents' Nights Out occur, the group can offer to watch the baby or plan a baby-friendly venue so that one parent can attend the night out as well. Wandering from a Topic.

A certain amount of wandering and digression is good, but the discussion can also disintegrate. It is hard for the group leader to know if they should get back to the topic.

Tips for wandering topics:

• If the digression is of interest to everyone in the group, let it go for a while and then suggest it as a topic for next week's discussion.

• If only two people are talking and the others seem bored, try saying, "We’ll need to get back to our topic now. Let’s come back to this if it’s of interest to the group."

• It is helpful to try and track who hasn’t had a chance to engage in the original topic before the discussion veers away, or to make a point of looping back toward the end to make sure anyone with thoughts about the original topic has a chance to weigh in. baby-friendly venue so that one parent can attend the night out as well.

Facing challenges with confidence

Do not be discouraged by challenges.

Without them, we would miss the opportunity to learn and grow. Difficulties in groups can be rewarding and enlightening for participants too — they are part of the diversity in PIPS Groups that families hope to find. The group may bond over moving through a difficult experience together. Give them positive reinforcement

when they have approached differences in a successful way. With your help, they may develop a deeper understanding of another member’s perspective or life experience, or validate their own deep emotions about an issue.

Your positive attitude about conflict or challenging situations makes a difference!

When you deal with the challenge head on instead of avoiding it, you can help the group ride out the difficulties. This will lead your group to greater closeness, deeper sharing, and growth.

FACILITATION TIPS

"By gathering with other parents dealing with the same

struggles - who were just as sleep deprived and who you

knew would never judge you for showing up frazzled and

in your pajamas - we were able to share many laughs

and come to see that twin parenthood can also be more

than twice as fun. And our group leader Kate played a

critical role in building this supportive community."